What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 10:34
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He knew the spot.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Do you think the constitution and laws should be taught in school?
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Are you afraid to get married and why?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Do guys prefer big boobs or small boobs? Why?
I said to her
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She found it foreign!.
What is the impact of being stereotyped as poor on an individual's life? How does it make them feel?
I was seconnd youngest,
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
How can fashion design be used to make a political statement in popular culture, and society?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We all went to grammer schools
Have you ever secretly watched someone while they were doing something private?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Which Korean female celebrities look the best in a bikini?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I write beautiful poetry .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
All the time i was locked up.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why are people nowadays so into anal sex?
One cannot live in the past .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
My family never makes their pension either.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Im still living with it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I will be 64.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She loved him until the end.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
We were not on the streets..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I don,t even have a pension.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was scared of men, in general
Put me off passion for life!!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
So whats the point in blame.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And i lived it daily.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I waited trembling.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
It was going to be , some day.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Would this be the day?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
This is soul school!.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
What did i know ?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Who then, do I blame.?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The only rule us 5 kids had .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I was 9 years of age.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Ive learnt so much.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I was very sick at this time too.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But, we were locked up after school.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
When she asked me how she looked .
I could never make a relationship work though!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But it wasn’t much.
But ive been too sick for many years..
She was in good health!
So, i spoilt her more .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He resisted the act ,that day.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I have no regrets .
I couldn’t, believe it.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
My life is so biszare .
As i do to all so called friends.?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She married twice! .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Why did i forgive my father ?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I think the readers, may guess!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Especially a lifetime of it.
She wouldn,t have been !
Comes on , in middle age.